Well, I don’t know if *should* is the right term, but perhaps if you’re asking yourself, “why did I just click the link to Kate’s dumb blog?” — I might be able to help you answer that.
— I am not an expert on life – and as long as I live I will never, ever, claim to be. “Busy Blue Eyes” is not a collection of self-help posts. I am not preaching any of my conventional and unconventional methods to anyone. I am writing and sharing the tips, tricks, methods and lessons that I’ve discovered that work for me. I don’t know if they’ll work for you. I hope they do, or I hope that by perusing through my drivel, the proverbial light bulb will suddenly flick on for you. Perhaps my posts about what I experience in a typical therapy session will help you gain some insight into modern and alternative psycho-therapy techniques and help you to feel less wary about reaching out for help. Maybe my entries about cooking or gardening will inspire you to delve into your own hobbies and passions. But maybe none of that will happen, and you’ll browse through my weak attempts at humor and think, “Great! Another self-important millennial thinks she’s got it all figured out.” You’d only be half wrong – I DO NOT think I have it all figured out. This website is just one aspect of my never ending journey in “figuring it all out”.
–But I absolutely am a self-important millennial. You got me pegged there, pal. —
I’ve been enrolled in some form of therapy on-and-off for nearly 20 years. I’m only 23 at the time of posting this, for reference. When my parents divorced when I was three, they were wise enough to bring me along to their marriage counselor so that he could explain what was happening in terms that I would understand. Since that time, therapy has played an incredibly formative role in my life. I’ve been diagnosed, misdiagnosed, prescribed sedatives and “uppers”, told I was bipolar, manic depressive, overly sensitive, lazy – you name it! If it’s on the personality disorder diagnostic list, I’ve been told I’ve had “it” – although, yes, the occasional psychologist has successfully diagnosed and treated me in the past. (*want to know what diagnostic label certifies me as crazy? Find it on my “About Me” page*)
It’s only been in the past two years that I’ve finally begun to learn and develop methods that work for ME. These methods, or “The Mechanisms” as I like to call them, are organized by the pages listed at the top of this site.
I’ve discovered/realized these pathways primarily through:
A.) reading other people’s stories.
B.) Working with therapists who first encourage me to come to my own conclusions and create my own methods, and then recommending modifications based on traditional therapy practices.
C.) Reading self-help books/listening to self-help podcasts that appeal to ME, and not exclusively what someone else recommends. I know what kind of communication and language styles I resonate the most with – long, dense texts full of medical jargon aren’t going to do anything for me.
D.) Perhaps the most important step in my journey thus far, however, has been trusting my instincts. If I didn’t “click” with a therapist, I moved on to someone else. If a psychiatrist gave me a diagnosis that I didn’t think was correct, I got a second opinion. If a medication I was prescribed made me feel “off,” I informed my doctor and switched to something else. You know your mind and body better than anyone else – be your own advocate! Question whatever doesn’t feel right. Sometimes you’ll be wrong, but even if you’re right just one time out of ten, you’ll save yourself invaluable time, energy, money and further mental strife.
In short (or not so short) “Busy Blue Eyes” serves as both a continuation of my journey to co-exist with and overcome my own mental illness, but also to provide an “unconventional template” of sorts for those who are on a similar journey.
This is what has helped me. I hope, even in some tiny way, it can help you, too.